Category Archives: Irrelevance

Anything that doesn’t fit in anywhere particular

5.55am

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alarm clock, bought from IKEA

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That’s the time my eyes pinged open this morning.  Again.  I seem to wake before 6.00am nearly every day now.   And, once I have woken, there is no going back to sleep again.

The time has gradually been getting earlier and earlier and if it carries on like this, I’ll be awake before I’ve gone to sleep by this time next year!!

I’m guessing it’s age related.  Or hormones, or something.

But the truth is, I’ve never really enjoyed a lie-in since I had my children.   The oldest is 29 this year so that’s a long time to go without a lie-in!!!

I mean, she doesn’t wake me up NOW, obviously.   She doesn’t even live at home.  But the legacy of being a mummy and having to get up early lives on.   And, no matter how hard I try, I cannot force myself to stay asleep longer, or go back to sleep once  I’m awake.

Well, unless I have to be somewhere first thing in the morning of course.  Then you can bet your life my body will be pleading with me to let it sleep a bit longer.

Hmmmm….maybe the answer is to book early appointments at weekends.  And set my alarm to wake me up to cancel them just before it is time to be there.

Now, where can I arrange to be at 9.00am on a Sunday morning……

‘To Do’ List

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Now that the awful studying is out of the way, I can get on with my life.

As I have said previously, I do like a good list to help me focus

So, here is my ‘get on with my life’ list (in no particular order)

1. Get drunk (in celebration)

2. Socialize madly

3. Write a fantastically successful screen play (with my partner, who will be known as KD from now on)

4. Learn CSS and all that web design stuff

5. Blog profusely

6. Go on holiday

7. Party a bit more

8. Celebrate my birthday

9. SLEEP

10. Join a BOOT CAMP to get super fit (probably)

Obviously, some of this items are dependent upon others…and quite a few of them involve my beloved significant other, KD, who deserves a special mention for being so supportive, supplying me with food, keeping the house ship-shape and filling up my wine glass on request (all things he does anyway!).

Time to resume my life!!!!!!!!

Words words words……….

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I have done my work.    No more stress and no more late nights.

To show my joy, I shall write this post with words of just one syllable (well, if you do not count that one, there is no word like that to use!).

I have used lots of big words in the last few days and I am sick of them.

It is hard just to talk in small words!  But I just do not think my brain has more big words in it. They are all used up.

I still do not see why big words must be used to say things when a small word would do just as well.

But that is what you have to do when you write words for a course. 

And I think I have used all the big words there are in the WORLD this week.

So, none in this post, as you can see.

And that is that. I have no more small words to say……

(Normal service will be resumed later – oops!!!!!)

Hey, wait a minute, Mr Postman!

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Whilst lying there awake, at 5 o’clock this morning (like you do) I started thinking about postage costs…..

POSTAGE COSTS??!!  I mean, I ask you…what sort of a topic is THAT to get all insomniac about???

Anyway, whatever the reason, and I can’t remember why now, I do know that, here in the UK, they have right royally mucked up our postage system.

It used to be that you had a first class stamp if you wanted something to be posted quickly and a second class stamp if you could wait a few days…..for heavier post, you just took it to the post office and they told you how much to pay…..

And then they changed it. 

Now, you have to MEASURE your letter.  The cost all depends on the length, width and breadth of your post.  I can’t even tell you what size costs how much now, I’d need to visit the website, but it has suddenly become extremely complicated to post a letter!!!

I haven’t a clue what the value of a first class stamp is now, because they don’t tell you anymore, it just says ‘1st’ on it.

It wouldn’t be so bad if first still meant FIRST.  Usually, it means ‘whenever we feel like it’  and ‘you might or might not get your post delivered on the day you hope you will’…..you need to post something way in advance to make sure it arrives on time now.

So, basically, to post a large letter, you need to do some mathematical calculations to work out whether you have a LETTER, a LARGE letter, or a PACKET, use more than one of your 1st class stamps that have no price on them, because you aren’t really sure how much it will cost, and hope that your letter arrives before the date you wanted it to be wherever you are sending it…………..brilliant system, eh????

Anyway, I don’t remember what started that train of thought off at all

But I suppose it beats worrying about my dissertation!

Social Networking Anxiety Disorder

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I’M HAVING A MAJOR ANXIETY ATTACK!

I cannot access my Facebook account.  I am just getting some stupid message that my account is under maintenance and to check back in a few hours.

A FEW HOURS????

I’ll have started shaking by then.  Possibly even hallucinating.

Goodness KNOWS how many Scrabble games will be waiting for me when I am eventually allowed back in!

My Fairy Garden will be overrun with weeds!

HOW will people know what is happening in my life today????  There will be dozens all wanting to know just how many more words I’ve done on my thesis (not many as it happens because I’m too busy having an anxiety attack about not getting into Facebook).

And how am I supposed to write highly informative and intelligent comments on my friends’ walls??  I expect they are already sending out search parties for me…..

My dog can still get on there.   This isn’t right.  He’s crap at Scrabble and he has nothing of note to tell the world, other than how nice his balls taste.

I suppose there’s nothing else for it

I will just have to do my course work

Wanna buy some…..paper?

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I blogged a few days ago about my paper fetish.  Well, it wasn’t exactly about that but I mentioned that I do love paper.  Paper and books and all things stationery.  I always have done.  I am an artistic soul and my love of paper comes from seeing that fresh, white, virgin space just waiting to be drawn on I think.  I love new books that haven’t been opened before and I love the feel of good quality paper.

Am I odd?

It would seem not.  Many of my friends share a love of books and not just because they like to read them.  There really is something quite satisfying about seeing books on a shelf.

I have a friend who loves to smell paper.  Well, magazines to be precise.  Although I suspect she gets off on the fumes really.  (Magazines are a  more ‘specialist’ addiction I think).  Paper, though, is so beautiful.

And what about this stationery thing?

I had it, my daughter has it, I have friends who have it – a walk round Staples or Office World is like a day out in Thorpe Park to me!  All those THINGS!  Sticky notes – staplers – pens – PAPER!!!

I know too many people who feel the same as me for this to be a minority fetish, it’s a BIG TIME addiction.  I can spend a fortune in Office World and never use half the stuff.

And as for PAPERCHASE – stationery junky heaven!!!!

I wonder if there are any self-help groups for this?

I suppose it only becomes a problem when you can’t see your desk for paper and small items of office equipment. Or your shelves are overflowing with envelopes.  Or you have too many pens (is there such a thing as too many pens?). Or maybe a big box of elastic bands you know you’ll never use.  Or Pritt Sticks.  Three of them…..

Oh…………………wait

“My name is Flossie and I am a Stationery-aholic”

A New Language

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The image is a diagram of the box model used i...

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So I was reading the latest posts and saw one about customising fonts and CSS yesterday.

Ooh, I thought, I must read this, since blogging is going to be my new, all-consuming hobby after I have finished my studies in a week’s time!! I already intend to upgrade to premium so that I can use different fonts so this seemed like a VERY IMPORTANT BLOG for me to be reading.

However, rather than inspire me, all it has done is make me realise how stupid I am! Well, as far as web-based thingies are concerned, at least!!

I have heard of CSS – It’s something I’ve been aware of for a long time, just like HTML and all those other abbreviations. I just never bothered to find out what they stood for…..

Having looked up CSS I find it stands for ‘Cascading Style Sheets’

I’m still none the wiser…..

(I can’t even work out how to link to the post I’m talking about!)

Clearly, I need to do some reading. This is a new language for me. I may have to go to evening classes or something.

Or should I just learn how to speak Spanish?

Poo Mist

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I am sorry to lower the tone of my blog but this really does have to be said

At work, we have a ‘mystery poo-er’.  Someone who uses our (unisex) loo and leaves the most terrible STINK there.   It’s been going on for some while but now it is beginning to upset us all.  We have air freshener in there and we have a window we can open but this is a particularly potent odour and even a squirt of Forest Glade doesn’t get rid of the smell.  If anything, it makes it worse.  A sort of mingling of fresh forest greenery and sewage – not pleasant at all.

For some while everyone was under suspicion.   It was difficult to pinpoint who it might be because there are a lot of people in our offices but, eventually, we narrowed it down to three suspects.  Today, we confirmed who the culprit was, by process of elimination (as it were).

We think this person ‘holds it in’ until he (yes, it’s a he) gets to work.  Possibly because his wife has threatened him with divorce if he continues to contaminate the house with his foul stench.  I know I would.

Up until now, everyone was nervous of being accused though.  One poor man was so worried that he would get the blame he has been holding it all in.  To the point he now can’t go.  A sort of ‘performance anxiety’ you might say.

Really though, it isn’t nice at all.  It seeps under the door, this ‘poo-mist’ and invades the corridor.

We need to take action.   I’m not sure what sort of action though.  How do you tactfully tell someone to go and poo elsewhere? 

It’s a bit like the body odour problem. We’ve had that in our office too, actually.  We tackled that head on by speaking to the offending, or should I say, offensive, person directly.  But poo – that’s different somehow.  You can’t really tell a person to defecate more fragrantly, can you.  We can’t even burn a jostick.  The sensors would set off the alarms!!!  

Although, maybe that WOULD work.  I mean, if you had to stop, mid flow, every time you sat on the loo and started to empty your bowels because the fire alarm went off, it might make you think twice about settling down in the work toilet. 

Actually, you know – I think I might be on to something!