Anything that doesn’t fit in anywhere particular
The dog was asking how my blogging was going and I said, “Yeah, it’s ok thanks – coming along nicely”.
So he wanted to take a look.
“Wot you need is annuver pic of me, mum, the punters will love that”
I told him my blog wasn’t all about him and to start his own if he wanted people to look at him.
But he wasn’t having any of it and insisted that I post up this shot of him, taken a couple of years ago when he was going through his ‘mod’ phase
(His Lambretta was parked just out of shot)
A friend of mine is having trouble with men. Well, the main trouble is she doesn’t have one. For a date I mean, not for general purposes….
She is beginning to despair and says her flirting techniques are responsible for her lack of success
So, ever the helpful friend, I suggested she tries the old ‘seven second stare’ trick
Now, I can’t remember who came up with this theory, a psychologist somewhere, but the idea is that if you can hold someone’s gaze for seven seconds, you’ve got them. When I say ‘got them’ I mean, you have made a connection and it is much more likely that the encounter will go further. In other words – you’ve pulled
It is actually quite difficult to maintain eye contact with someone for that long – try it – but the theory says, if you are attracted to someone and they you, and you do the seven second stare, you will pull (or something like that, I can’t remember the exact rules). Anyway, basically, seven seconds is the critical time period for attracting a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you are that way inclined)
A few words of warning for those of you wishing to try this though
DON’T STARE. There is a profound difference between GAZING at someone and STARING. If they don’t return your gaze after seven seconds, give up. Otherwise you are liable to be arrested for harassment or stalking
DON’T do this when drunk. It is rather difficult to focus so you may well end up cross-eyed. Not an attractive look….
DON’T do this to people you don’t fancy. That awkward moment when you have to tell them you thought they were someone else is not one you want to experience
However, if you choose your ‘target’ carefully, follow the rules and do the seven second stare, you will have a date in no time
Trust me
It really works!!!
Go on – try it!!! You know you want to now!!!
This site allows you to see the stats for your blog, that is, it tells you how many views per day, what posts have had most views and comments, etc. All very interesting
But the statistic I find most fascinating is the search engine statistic
I have discovered that there are a surprisingly large number of people worldwide who put in the search term STATIONERY
And I don’t just mean in English. I’ve had all sorts, Arabic, Vietnamese – all googling stationery in their own language (I know because I’ve used the translate button to see what they’ve been searching) and finding their way to my blog
Who would have thought that stationery was so popular? I wrote about my own love of paper a while ago – Wanna buy some…..paper?
Well, I thought I was the only one with a paper fetish!
OBVIOUSLY NOT!!!!
A spring day in Maldon, Essex
I was rummaging around for something (again) in my handbag yesterday when it occurred to me that it probably isn’t like your average girlie handbag…..
Yes, it is impossible to find anything in there, so in that respect it is similar
And yes, there is the obligatory lipstick (three in fact) and a blusher in one of the side pockets – and of course my purse – but, apart from that, it is unusual for a ladybag
In fact, it is more like the inside of Curry’s (electrical store for those who may not know)
1. Digital camera (pink) – ready for those spontaneous photo shoots
2. iTouch – in case I have to hang around somewhere and need to play Angry Birds
3. Dictaphone – for all my random thoughts
4. Work mobile – for work, obviously
5. Personal mobile – err, for personal use
Then we have the collection of ART equipment, in case I see a view that NEEDS to be sketched immediately – sketch book, pens, a range of pencils and an eraser
I also have the ‘BAG WITHIN A BAG’ in there. An ingenious little device, designed so that the contents of your bag are always neatly organised in whatever bag you are using – the idea being you simply transfer everything from one big bag to another as it is neatly packed into the ‘bag within a bag’
Since I can never be arsed to rummage through my bag cupboard (too painful, it’s where the gorgeous, sparkly high heels I can never wear live – I can’t look at them, it makes me sad) and the contents of the ‘bag within a bag’ have spilled out into the BIG HANDBAG, it is really not doing its job too well
The pink Filofax also takes up a fair bit of room but is obviously essential and then there are the THREE pairs of glasses I have to carry with me – one pair for driving, one for reading and a snazzy pair of prescription sunglasses in case the sun should ever come out while I am driving along, which it has only done twice so far this year since I got them, by the way!!!
Add an assortment of leaflets, tissues, receipts, some Gaviscon, a drug-testing kit, my ID badge and some boiled sweets and there you have it
My handbag……
As I mentioned previously, I went into London on Saturday for a lovely meal. We had a thoroughly good evening, eating lovely food and drinking lovely wine and generally pretending we do this sort of thing all the time
Anyway, the usual problem of what to wear on my feet presented itself when I was deciding what to wear
I have LOADS of pairs of shoes – a cupboard full
But hardly any I can wear
The trouble is, I have never been very good in heels. My feet must be naturally flat because arches give me pain and the balls of my feet scream in agony if I am wearing anything with a heel more than half an inch
Obviously, when I was younger, I ignored the pain and suffered for the sake of fashion. But, as I have matured, comfort has replaced beauty and I wear flatties all the time. That’s not to say I don’t have some very nice flat shoes and sandals but sometimes you really do need a heel to finish off an outfit
But I just can’t cope with them. I totter along and complain loudly that my feet hurt. I have to drink a lot of alcohol to numb the pain (which usually results in a bit of staggering, thus making the high heels even more difficult to walk in) and the whole evening is overshadowed by the pain in my feet……I’ve more or less given up now, it’s not worth the agony
Which means I have an entire cupboard full of gorgeous, sparkly high-heeled shoes, hardly worn and unwearable. They are simply there to GAZE at now
I also have an excellent pair of walking boots I bought earlier this year
They have NEVER been worn
Last night, KD had a problem trying to get a whisky in a pub.
No, not because they wouldn’t serve him – just because it would seem that bar staff these days just don’t realise there is more to whisky than
JACK DANIELS
Anyone who drinks whisky will understand what I am saying here
Personally, I can’t stand ANY whisky but I do know that Jack Daniels is not REAL whisky. Well, it is, but not like PROPER whisky. For a start, it’s spelt with an ‘E’ – WHISKEY
It’s a particular TYPE of liquor that comes under the broad heading of whisk(e)y but it isn’t the definitive brand
I am happy to stand corrected on this because, as I say I don’t touch the stuff but, it would appear that JD is not in the same league as a Single Malt
It isn’t even the same as a blended whisky like Bells. It’s different
Trying to get something other than JD in a bar now seems to be a mission though
The last three times we’ve been out we have had to practically get behind the bar and point out the other whiskies on the shelf to the nonplussed bar staff
And while we are on the topic of whisky and things that begin with WHISK,can I just say that I am having terrible problems with my WHISKERS at the moment
Women of a certain age start to sprout stray hairs from their chin at an alarming rate, I have noticed
Well, I do anyway
It is a constant battle to stop myself becoming the Bearded Lady
I carry tweezers with me at all times,
I have a mirror and tweezers on standby on my desk at work and I am constantly rubbing my chin to check for new growth
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t get a five o’clock shadow but I reckon it’s only a matter of time
It’s enough to drive me to drink…….
Having sorted out the mystery of the faulty central locking system on my car, I started noticing a KERCLUNKING sort of noise on closing the door. I did the obvious – checked that there was nothing rattling around in the glove compartment or the side pockets and established it wasn’t anything silly like that
I decided to pretend it wasn’t happening until it got to the point where I couldn’t start the car one day. This attitude is probably not the most sensible (it resulted in a cam belt disaster on my previous motor) but it is how I roll…..
So anyway, this afternoon I left a meeting, got into my car, and was greeted by the now strangely comforting KERCLUNK when I shut the door. What I didn’t expect was the KNOCKITY KNOCK noise that went on for a couple of minutes after that
Oooo dear, I thought. Something is about to FALL OFF
Always the risk taker though, I decided it wasn’t going to stop me going home
However, at some point during my journey, after remembering the horrific moment when my cam belt broke and I ‘fizzled’ to a stop on a motorway, I started to worry again
I convinced myself the car was veering to the right (I did this by letting go of the steering wheel and observing the direction the car went in – it went to the right – the fact we were on a bend is neither here nor there)
By the time I was almost home I decided that something MUST have fallen off the steering mechanism – it was the only explanation!
So I phoned my garage, who know me well, and asked if I could swing by (in a veering rightward sort of way)
After a lot of door shutting and opening and a bit of a fiddle about, they decided that I probably have a ‘wobbly pollen filter’. Ok, they didn’t say that exactly but that’s my interpretation of it
I haven’t a clue what that means
But it isn’t life-threatening. Or, indeed, car threatening
I have to use the ‘recycle’ facility on my air vent system for the next few days and see if it stops. If it does, we’re laughing. New pollen filter and it’s sorted. I now feel very eco-friendly, using my ‘recycle’ facility. Even though I am now having to breathe in OLD air
If it doesn’t stop, well, they’ll get to the bottom of it I suppose. As long as nothing falls off in the meantime….
Stupid car
NEVER let your friends tinker with your gadgets
Today, I was explaining the world of blogging to a friend of mine. It fell on deaf ears I have to say. She doesn’t read blogs, she doesn’t even FACEBOOK!
She is one of those ‘I’m not very interested in the internet’ type of people
Weird
Anyway, I showed her the inspiration for my posts. Well, the gadget that captures my inspirational thoughts, to be more accurate.
My little Sony dictaphone
It’s a neat little thing, nice and small, easy to operate and great for storing just about everything I would otherwise forget. I use it a lot, not just to blog, but to remind myself of things I need to do. I find I have of most of my ideas whilst driving – I do a lot of driving – and my dictaphone is always there, on the passenger seat, ready to capture my flash of inspiration or to record that I need to phone someone or something
Anyway, I showed her my little gadget and she was most impressed. I left her to fiddle with it for a moment – a MOMENT, that’s all. I was distracted. She handed it back and said it was an amazing little gadget and that was that…….
I’ve just gone to switch it on and retrieve my gems of wisdom
And they’ve all gone
She’s only gone and bloody well wiped the lot off!!!!!
Now, if I were a suspicious-minded person, I’d say she’s nicked my ideas and plans to take over the blog world
As it is, I think she accidentally pressed a button
And erased the lot
They were such BRILLIANT thoughts as well – and now the world will never know
Ho hum
Now I have to start ALL over again
*****
Errrrr….ok
UPDATE
I was just fiddling with my gadget and found all my ramblings. I forgot I had ‘folders’ on this bloody ridiculously COMPLICATED little thing!!
How embarrassing
Don’t you just hate it when you have to start wearing tights?
(Men, you don’t have to answer that but you can if you wish )
I mean, when the weather turns cold enough to cover your legs but not quite cold enough for full on winter gear
The main problem is FOOTWEAR for me.
I have LOADS of pairs of summer shoes and quite a few pairs of boots but nothing really in the way of ‘in between’ shoes
Anyway, yesterday I dug out the one pair of flat shoes I have (because I am crap at wearing heels, my feet hurt by the end of the day)
And then I had to go through the bit I hate the most. The SPIDER inspection
When your shoes have been at the back of the shoe rack for a year, they inevitably become a holiday home for creepy crawlies (well, I am convinced they do anyway) and so they must be CHECKED for spiders before wearing
Luckily, none found. In fact, I’ve NEVER found any spiders in my shoes. But there’s always a first time
Do you do the ‘spider check’ in your shoes?
Or is it just me
The Flossie (Country) Files 