Tag Archives: Humor

Hey, wait a minute, Mr Postman!

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Whilst lying there awake, at 5 o’clock this morning (like you do) I started thinking about postage costs…..

POSTAGE COSTS??!!  I mean, I ask you…what sort of a topic is THAT to get all insomniac about???

Anyway, whatever the reason, and I can’t remember why now, I do know that, here in the UK, they have right royally mucked up our postage system.

It used to be that you had a first class stamp if you wanted something to be posted quickly and a second class stamp if you could wait a few days…..for heavier post, you just took it to the post office and they told you how much to pay…..

And then they changed it. 

Now, you have to MEASURE your letter.  The cost all depends on the length, width and breadth of your post.  I can’t even tell you what size costs how much now, I’d need to visit the website, but it has suddenly become extremely complicated to post a letter!!!

I haven’t a clue what the value of a first class stamp is now, because they don’t tell you anymore, it just says ‘1st’ on it.

It wouldn’t be so bad if first still meant FIRST.  Usually, it means ‘whenever we feel like it’  and ‘you might or might not get your post delivered on the day you hope you will’…..you need to post something way in advance to make sure it arrives on time now.

So, basically, to post a large letter, you need to do some mathematical calculations to work out whether you have a LETTER, a LARGE letter, or a PACKET, use more than one of your 1st class stamps that have no price on them, because you aren’t really sure how much it will cost, and hope that your letter arrives before the date you wanted it to be wherever you are sending it…………..brilliant system, eh????

Anyway, I don’t remember what started that train of thought off at all

But I suppose it beats worrying about my dissertation!

Social Networking Anxiety Disorder

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I’M HAVING A MAJOR ANXIETY ATTACK!

I cannot access my Facebook account.  I am just getting some stupid message that my account is under maintenance and to check back in a few hours.

A FEW HOURS????

I’ll have started shaking by then.  Possibly even hallucinating.

Goodness KNOWS how many Scrabble games will be waiting for me when I am eventually allowed back in!

My Fairy Garden will be overrun with weeds!

HOW will people know what is happening in my life today????  There will be dozens all wanting to know just how many more words I’ve done on my thesis (not many as it happens because I’m too busy having an anxiety attack about not getting into Facebook).

And how am I supposed to write highly informative and intelligent comments on my friends’ walls??  I expect they are already sending out search parties for me…..

My dog can still get on there.   This isn’t right.  He’s crap at Scrabble and he has nothing of note to tell the world, other than how nice his balls taste.

I suppose there’s nothing else for it

I will just have to do my course work

Wanna buy some…..paper?

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I blogged a few days ago about my paper fetish.  Well, it wasn’t exactly about that but I mentioned that I do love paper.  Paper and books and all things stationery.  I always have done.  I am an artistic soul and my love of paper comes from seeing that fresh, white, virgin space just waiting to be drawn on I think.  I love new books that haven’t been opened before and I love the feel of good quality paper.

Am I odd?

It would seem not.  Many of my friends share a love of books and not just because they like to read them.  There really is something quite satisfying about seeing books on a shelf.

I have a friend who loves to smell paper.  Well, magazines to be precise.  Although I suspect she gets off on the fumes really.  (Magazines are a  more ‘specialist’ addiction I think).  Paper, though, is so beautiful.

And what about this stationery thing?

I had it, my daughter has it, I have friends who have it – a walk round Staples or Office World is like a day out in Thorpe Park to me!  All those THINGS!  Sticky notes – staplers – pens – PAPER!!!

I know too many people who feel the same as me for this to be a minority fetish, it’s a BIG TIME addiction.  I can spend a fortune in Office World and never use half the stuff.

And as for PAPERCHASE – stationery junky heaven!!!!

I wonder if there are any self-help groups for this?

I suppose it only becomes a problem when you can’t see your desk for paper and small items of office equipment. Or your shelves are overflowing with envelopes.  Or you have too many pens (is there such a thing as too many pens?). Or maybe a big box of elastic bands you know you’ll never use.  Or Pritt Sticks.  Three of them…..

Oh…………………wait

“My name is Flossie and I am a Stationery-aholic”