Goodbye Ruby Tuesday (because I wrote this on Tuesday)

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My first ever attempt at the 100 Word Challenge! (The hardest bit was working out how to do all the linking!!!  And I still can’t do it. If anyone knows how…PLEASE tell me!!!!)

*UPDATE*   Thank you so much for all your advice and suggestions on here and via Twitter.  Thanks to Notquiteold, I’ve finally managed to link to the post here!

100 Word Challenge

Anyway, the word is RUBY.  Here goes…..

Our first cat was called Santa.  She was a female tabby but we got her at Christmas so Santa (Claws) she was.  Then came Pickle, a bruiser of a tom who used to look at me with contempt.  Our third cat was called Ruby.  A dear little thing, the runt of the litter and a gorgeous little tortoiseshell with huge eyes.  She would curl up in my cowl neck jumper, resting on my chest, purring happily.  She didn’t really ever grow, she was tiny.  She only survived two years, she was not really meant for this world.  

Dear little baby Rubes.

Traffic Jam Survival tips

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Yesterday I had the unfortunate luck to be stuck on the M25 for the best part of four hours because they had closed the road ahead due to an accident.  At first, not knowing how long I would be there, I sat back and relaxed, listened to my radio and sent an update to Facebook from my Blackberry.  Thank goodness for smart phones, I thought.

I enjoyed the music that was on the radio and, after a little while of sitting still, I decided to practise my dance moves.  Obviously, it wasn’t possible to do the full routine, not in the car, but I did spend a happy ten minutes shimmying my shoulders and boobs along to the music.  I got some looks but I didn’t mind as I was sure we’d all be on the move again soon.

Two hours later we had hardly moved and I had the same ‘neighbours’ as I had when I was shimmying.  I was tempted to have a go at nipple tassel twirling but a)I haven’t done that class yet and b) I didn’t have any nipple tassels.  So I abandoned that idea.

I started to get bored.  My lunch was in the boot.  I didn’t want to get out of the car and walk round to get it as the traffic kept moving a bit, in between standing still.  I ached from sitting down.  I ran out of things to post to Facebook.   I needed a cup of tea.  I needed a wee. I saw men getting out of their cars and going to the side of the road to relieve themselves.  That didn’t help my mood, although I did think of getting out myself as time went by.  I managed to hang on though.  I knew those pelvic floor exercises would come in handy one day.

It struck me that I should put together a ‘motorway survival kit’, specially for times like this.

Alongside the torch, blanket, spade and bottle of water you should have with you at all times, I decided that I should assemble a special little kit just for those times when I am stuck on the motorway, bored shitless with nobody to talk to.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I had company. I was stuck once before on the same road with a male colleague and we played Strip Eye-Spy to pass the time. That was fun…. (luckily we started moving before I had even got to my cardigan).

Anyway, in my kit I thought I would pack:

Tweezers. Not just for tidying the eyebrows.  There are always facial whiskers to remove. It is my main hobby in life these days.

Nail varnish.  May as well paint my nails while I’m waiting.  I never seem to have time for them to dry normally.  Sat in the car, there isn’t a lot else to do….in fact, a whole manicure kit, why not?  Cuticle oil, file, false nails…yes, that would pass the time nicely.

My personal lap top.  Could have written this blog whilst waiting in the traffic, couldn’t I?

Chocolate.  Obviously.

Embroidery, needlework and knitting that I never have time to finish.

Sketch book and camera for those ‘opportunities’.

A sleeping bag, inflatable bed and tent, just in case I need a lie down.

And a bottle of wine. (Ok. That was a joke).

Might have to get a bigger car…..

It has been suggested that I get a ‘SheWee’ for the car, the portable ‘appliance’ for ladies on the move.  Hmm. I’m not sure.  If the lorry drivers were interested in my shimmies, they’d sure as hell be FASCINATED by my SheWee….I think I’ll just keep doing my exercises.

However, I do think I may have identified a gap in the Portaloo market.  How about having someone drive up the hard shoulder with a Portaloo, stopping every so often for 20 minutes to allow the stranded motorists to form an orderly queue and relieve themselves.  For a nominal fee they would be able to ‘offload’ and return to the car and the money raised would pay for the loo roll and Sanigel.  I may investigate this idea further myself.  I am due a career change….

And why stop at Portaloos anyway?  Burger vans, maybe a French Market?  All on wheels obviously so that the owners could set up shop at the drop of a hat, when they hear of a traffic hold up somewhere.

The possibilities are endless….

What I love #2

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Today I went on a training day, all about physical health monitoring, something I need to do in my work from time to time.

Anyway, I have a fair idea about various aspects of physical health, being an expert in hypochondria and various real medical procedures and illnesses.

But today I really did learn some new things. I learned how to take somebody’s blood pressure the old-fashioned way, with a sphygthingmometer and a stethoscope, and I learned just what all those things the doctor ticks when you get sent for a blood test mean.  I also found out LOADS about other stuff too that I didn’t know before.

So, this being LOVE month, if you recall, and having already written one post about what I love, the second thing I have decided I love is learning new things, whether it be how to dance burlesque style, the Italian language, or what your liver does.  I just love to find stuff out and stretch my brain cells.

I vowed I would never do another academic course as long as I lived after I finished the last one in 2011.

But I’ve decided

I want to be a nurse now.

Then again.  I wouldn’t have time to dance or practise my Italian, let alone have a social life.  Or work.

So maybe I’ll just forget that idea and think of something less intense.

Perhaps I’ll just blog more!

What I Love #1

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I think I can include this next post under the LOVE heading.  It is, after all, something I love…..It could have fitted in nicely with last month’s theme too though, of motivation.  But I wasn’t actually doing it then so it will be fine here…..

What am I on about?

EXERCISE

Those people who know me well may have had to read that a couple of times to make sure they hadn’t misread it.   You didn’t. I said EXERCISE.  I love EXERCISE.

For years, I have found it hard to keep myself motivated to do anything physically taxing.  I have been known to park as near as possible to anywhere, to avoid walking and I positively hated the gym.

But, something happened last month. I saw the light.  And now, I am a keep fit convert.  

A Born Again Exerciser.

I’ve had phases of doing different types of exercise, it’s true.  I enjoy badminton and I don’t mind swimming (apart from the getting changed and the getting in and out of the pool. Oh, and the swimming). But recently, something has changed.

I took up a new hobby, burlesque dancing.  I’ve only been twice but I’ve found my ‘thing’.  I love it because, not only do you prance around in a provocative way, looking alluring and sexy (in my head, in my head, ok??) but you also get to wear frou frou outfits, with feathers and lace and SPARKLY bits.  What could be more fun??  I don’t really care about the dancing bit, I just LOVE the attire!  But the dancing is the exercise.  So I’ve cracked it.

However, the more surprising thing, for me, is that I LOVE the gym now.  Well, maybe not the gym exactly, but my personal training sessions.  This love of training was sparked by a television series that is on currently, Fat Fighters (not Fat Losers as I previously wrote. Oops!).  Prior to this, I paid to have a trainer but I dreaded going.  Watching the programme, I was suddenly inspired.  And I texted my trainer to sign up again.  I now go religiously every Saturday morning, a time that suits me.  I realised that planning to go after work was the reason I hated it.  It’s too late for me and the traffic meant I was always stressing about making it in time.  I now get to have a little lie in on a Saturday before going to the gym and waking myself up properly.  It’s great!

But the main point of this post really is that I have a totally different attitude towards exercise.  Instead of being something I HAVE to do to be healthy or lose weight, it is something I do because I WANT to….

I love that

(That’s not actually me in the cocktail glass.  But it could be, one day!)

I love….

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I had thought I might write a post about all the things I love for my LOVE month.  But then I realised that would probably be a BOOK and I haven’t really got time to write a book right now (apart from which, do you really want to know about everything I love?   No.  Exactly).  To be honest, I think I’m going to struggle with this topic.  I can’t think of anything that inspires me.

So, instead, for now, I thought I’d just show you my lovely flowers, bought for me by KD earlier this week when I wasn’t feeling so hot. 

Now THAT’S what I love

Be my valentine?

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I went shopping for a Valentine’s card the other day.  Well, I was actually on my way to pay for my parking ticket after a gruelling session at the gym but I had to walk past Clintons and I decided to pop in.  I have a bit of a card fetish, I think it is fair to say.  I never buy ONE card.  I tend to buy about twenty quid’s worth…..I just love cards!  Funny cards, selected with someone in mind, for an occasion when I need to send that someone a card.  I keep them for ages until the right time to send them comes.  I often forget I bought them though and go and buy another card for said person. Therefore, I have a lot of cards stashed away….

So, anyway, on Saturday I went into Clintons.  Obviously, they were well into the swing of the Valentine promotion, with fluffy wuffy teddy bears clutching hearts, heart emblazoned mugs, heart-shaped key rings, heart-shaped boxes, heart-shaped balloons, heart-shaped EVERYTHINGS!!!

And lots and lots of cards…

Maybe I have never looked this closely before but, this year, alongside the usual Valentine cards to wives, husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends, were cards to partners (good idea I thought), cards to soul mates (hmmm, that’s not bad either), cards from the dog or cat (um, now you’re losing me), cards TO the dog, the cat, the grandparents, the grandchildren, and your teacher…..

HUH??

What’s going on?  Since when did Valentines Day expand to include anyone AND their dog??

It’s all got totally ridiculous.  I remember when I was young, it was all about the anonymous card from the secret admirer.

Now, it’s just become yet another way for the card industry to make more money…..

For the record, I will NOT be buying the dog a Valentine card.

(I hope he doesn’t get me one now, I shall feel really embarrassed)

Love is………

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Today is the 1st February, which I have decided is LOVE month on my blog, in keeping with my pledge to have a theme per month throughout the year.

I have no idea what I will blog about yet.  I’m sure I’ll think of something though, since the word love can mean so many different things to different people.

So, while I’m thinking about what to write about, here are some words I found that might inspire me……

I Love my Motivation!

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Well, we are almost at the end of January.  My initial resolve was to take part in the 365 Project and post on the same theme for a whole year.  I chose motivation but quickly realised that I’d bore myself, let alone my readers, if I posted up about that for a WHOLE YEAR!!  So, I decided to adapt the idea and post on the same topic for a month.  I also allowed myself not to post every day.  I pretty much abandoned the 365 Project in fact!

Anyway, I have, more or less, posted motivationally themed stuff throughout January, I think, and I intend to end with a summary of how my own motivation has helped me to keep up my fitness training and started all the other things I said I would do.

Or rather, that WAS the intent

Unfortunately, I’ve just returned from a slap up meal of Tapas with copious amounts of wine and I really feel a bit of a fraud talking about how determined I am to eat healthily and keep fit.

Although I did go to a personal training session at the gym this morning. AND I have been walking regularly. AND…and this is the bestest AND….I have joined a burlesque dancing class.  So far, I’ve only been to the taster session but I’ve signed up for the full six weeks.  It’s so much fun!   The challenge for me is how to look alluring whilst trying to follow the steps.  Not quite there yet but I’m hopeful!  Anyway, I highly recommend it as a fun way to exercise.

And, joking apart, I am really enjoying my exercise, whatever form it takes.

The Italian classes are great fun too, not too hard but I’m learning new stuff.  It’s fun doing the class with KD who has a fantastic accent and we practise our new words during the week so I fully expect to be fluent by the end of the course (well, I hope to be able to order wine and food at least. Or just the wine even….).

As for the other projects I had intended to pick up on, well, the photography is slow. The weather has been poor and I have yet to find the subject that inspires me….but I will. I am a frustrated photographer.

I have not done any more drawing and I have totally forgotten about the needlecraft apart from a brief spell (one evening) where I got out the knitting needles for half hour.

Still, it’s only January.  Eleven more months to achieve my goals!

I have decided to make my theme for February ‘Love’.

Amore.

Not sure what I’ll post yet but isn’t that the beauty of it all?

Ciao Belle.

 

Rouge Nipples

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I have a few different methods for remembering topics I want to blog about.  One is to jot it down in the back of my diary.  Another is to use my dictaphone to say a couple of key words and the other is the ‘notes’ feature on my iTouch.

I haven’t actually used this iTouch feature for some while now but I thought I’d just check and see if there are any ideas outstanding that I might want to turn into a post here.

I have five things listed, as follows:

Rouge Nipples

Quotient

Sandwiches

Fabulous business idea

Music

Now, I can remember what the music prompt is to do with and I will blog about that one day.

As for the others, I am totally clueless.

ROUGE NIPPLES??????

Whatever could I have been thinking about???

I’m even scaring myself there…..

Zero out of Ten

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Woops

The challenge isn’t going too well so far is it?

Day two and I nearly didn’t manage to post.  I have a nice little blog post half typed out on my Macbook but it needs tidying up.  It looks like an essay or some lecture notes at the moment….

Anyway, I suppose this counts as it shows I am struggling with my motivation today.  First day back at work tomorrow since Friday 23rd December 2011.  It’s going to be tough. I have enjoyed my break and being able to do very little as and when I want.   My motivation to do anything much apart from drink Cointreau is ZERO right now…..

However, I DO know that I work better under pressure so I am fully expecting to have a SURGE of inspiration as soon as I get back to work and I don’t have the time to write

WATCH THIS SPACE!

I wonder how many times this year I will be saying “Watch this space”?

Anyway, here’s a photo I took of a squirrel on Boxing Day in the cemetery where my dad and nan have memorials.  He looks like he is thinking very hard about his New Year Resolutions, don’t you agree?   I wonder what they are.  Probably won’t be to give up smoking.  Which is what my next post will be about (if I can be arsed)