Tag Archives: Humour

Whiskers and Malt

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Last night, KD had a problem trying to get a whisky in a pub.  

No, not because they wouldn’t serve him – just because it would seem that bar staff these days just don’t realise there is more to whisky than

JACK DANIELS

Anyone who drinks whisky will understand what I am saying here

Personally, I can’t stand ANY whisky but I do know that Jack Daniels is not REAL whisky.  Well, it is, but not like PROPER whisky.  For a start, it’s spelt with an ‘E’ –  WHISKEY

It’s a particular TYPE of liquor that comes under the broad heading of whisk(e)y but it isn’t the definitive brand

I am happy to stand corrected on this because, as I say I don’t touch the stuff but, it would appear that JD is not in the same league as a Single Malt  

It isn’t even the same as a blended whisky like Bells.  It’s different

Trying to get something other than JD in a bar now seems to be a mission though  

The last three times we’ve been out we have had to practically get behind the bar and point out the other whiskies on the shelf to the nonplussed bar staff

And while we are on the topic of whisky and things that begin with WHISK,

can I just say that I am having terrible problems with my WHISKERS at the moment

Women of a certain age start to sprout stray hairs from their chin at an alarming rate, I have noticed  

Well, I do anyway  

It is a constant battle to stop myself becoming the Bearded Lady

I carry tweezers with me at all times,

I have a mirror and tweezers on standby on my desk at work and I am constantly rubbing my chin to check for new growth

 Don’t get me wrong, I don’t get a five o’clock shadow but I reckon it’s only a matter of time

It’s enough to drive me to drink…….

Anyone for canapes? No thanks, mine’s an amuse-bouche…….

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I’ll start by saying that I didn’t make it to boxing class last night.  I am still having difficulty managing stairs so I thought it best to rest up for another day or so

That doesn’t mean I won’t go back. I shall make it to tomorrow mornings class and it will be good

Anyway, this weekend is my BIRTHDAY weekend.  Not actually my birthday, that’s on Monday, but the celebrations begin today!

It’s not a significant or special birthday, I will be 52.  The sort of birthday you don’t shout about but a birthday nevertheless

Tonight I am being taken to a very nice boutique restaurant in the West End of London.  I am very much looking forward to it

The menu looks gorgeous and I am sure I will have a wonderful time

There will also be MISE EN BOUCHE as part of the dining experience

Now, being the philistine I obviously am, I had never heard of MISE EN BOUCHE before last year when friends spoke of these little hors d’oeuvre once.  I know they are ‘nibbles’ but that is about it

So, I’ve looked it up

I have discovered we call them AMUSE-BOUCHE here.   Which I find amusing in itself.  Probably someone misheard it once and it stuck.  Personally I like amuse-bouche better as it means entertainment for the mouth and that’s got to be good. ‘Mise en bouche’ means ‘setting for the mouth’ – not nearly as appealing.  No wonder they changed it…..

Anyway, they look the same as canapes

They ARE canapes

Canapes I know are those little munchy things on a platter, yummy. Obviously they are so last year now

Which begs the questions –

Are amuse-bouche the new canapes?

Were canapes the new Cheesy Wotsits?

How come we never had “amuse-bouche” or “mise en bouche”, or whatever they are called – or even canapes – when I was growing up?

It’s all a bit pretentious if you ask me

But I will still scoff a plateful tonight – it would be rude not to

A catastrophic start to the day

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Well, it’s not a very nice day out there (again).  More grey, miserable, rainy weather and I am starting the day tired because the local cats decided to have a sing-song outside the window around five this morning.  Obviously, the dog had to join in and the cats were even lucky enough to have the geese making a brief appearance, just to add depth to the sound…..grrrrr

On a positive note, whilst lying there thinking hateful thoughts about cats and wishing I was asleep, I suddenly remembered that I have a spare car key.  This may not seem very important to you but, since my central locking has packed up, I am unable to fill the car with petrol. I estimate I have one more day of fuel before I’m grounded….

So, when I got up, the first thing I did was check out the spare key.  “BING BONG” (that’s the noise my central locking makes) – it works!

So, what I thought was a MAJOR electrical fault turned out to be just a dead battery in the key.

Not that I over-dramatise or anything….