I got up early to switch on my laptop and check that the Powerpoint presentation I had carefully prepared last week looked as good as when I switched off on Friday, in readiness for a two-hour talk to professionals and foster carers about drug use and young people.  To my utter horror, I couldn’t open it.  I had saved it to the wrong drive and the only way I could access it was if I docked the laptop in at work.  No time to go into the office as I had to be in another part of the county in 45 minutes time!!

Fortunately, I had printed off a copy of the slides with the idea that I would jot down some notes over the weekend.  That didn’t happen, obviously, but I did at least have the text I had carefully prepared before me, so I hurriedly typed out another set of slides, jumped into the car and arrived with seconds to spare.  The new Powerpoint presentation lacked the pretty patterns and font that the original had sported but it saw me through the two-hour talk I had to give. Nobody was any the wiser and I managed to appear knowledgeable, professional and confident to all those present.

I thought I had stopped doing that.  Leaving it to the last minute, I mean.  I have got much better in recent years at preparing myself for things.  (I think that comes from living with Mr OCD actually!!) but it has certainly taught me that life is so much easier if you plan ahead.

On the other hand, I actually think I perform better when I leave it all to the last minute.  I get an adrenalin rush from the panic that, I believe, fuels my creativity.  I could be called (and indeed have been called) a procrastinator. I leave things and leave things, choosing to do anything and everything rather than the task at hand until there really isn’t any other option but to do it.  But is this procrastination?  Or is it simply ‘doing other things’?  I prefer to think of it as the latter.  I still manage to pull it out of the bag and it must work for me as I have successfully completed a degree and a masters using this technique….

A tutor on a management course I attended told us there are two types of people – ‘steppers’ and ‘squigglers’.  The steppers follow a set pattern to achieve a deadline, whereas the ‘squigglers’ appear to be all over the place in the process of getting there.  Both arrive in the end.  The steppers find it harder to deal with a setback in their well laid plans whereas the squigglers never had a plan in the first place so can carry on regardless.  That’s not to say it’s plain sailing for the squigglers.  Leaving things to the last minute leaves no room for error.  But that’s quite exciting, really.  Isn’t it?

Isn’t it??

The exhibition was breath-taking.  So many beautiful paintings, all in one place.  Some I knew well and some I had never seen before.  Some artists totally unknown to me too.  We spent a couple of hours there, entranced and transported by the ethereal quality of the colours and the beauty of the compositions.

I did know by now where dinner was to be – we were dining at The Ritz!  

Wow!

And WOW it was!  Stepping through the doors was like stepping back in time.  There is an elegance, a serenity, an atmosphere that cannot be described in words.  The lighting, the mirrors, the high ceilings – it felt as if we had walked straight back into the 1920s.

Dinner was fabulous.  Seated in the most beautiful room, with a quartet playing gently in the corner, we were served by waiters in lovely waistcoats who made us feel as if we were the only guests.  The meal was delicious, I had salmon, and it was mouth-wateringly beautiful, both to eat and to look at.  A sommelier served us the wine of his choice to compliment the food and that was the icing on the cake for me.  Everything just felt so ‘right’.

I imagined my great-aunt and uncle visiting the Ritz in the thirties, socialites that they were, and I saw a room full of ladies in beautiful long dresses and men in tuxedos with live music playing gently in the background.  On Wednesday, there was no such splendour but, in it’s hey day, the Ritz must have been dazzling.

We finished with a glass of Calvados and walked back through the building to the reception area and then back out onto the busy street again, back to reality and 2012.

The whole day was like a time travel experience to me.  I won’t forget this birthday.  

Like I said, all birthdays are special but this one was just that little bit more special to me.  Thank you, KD x

I have grey hair.  Well, some of it.  It’s been at that awkward ‘salt and pepper’ stage for years.  I only know this because I decided to grow out my colour a while ago in the vague hope that it would suit me to be grey.  To my dismay, it was just a mish-mash of grey and brown in very uneven patches and it looked ridiculous so I went back to dying it.

I dye it myself and I use two colours.  A pinky purple sort of colour for the fringe and black for the rest of it.  I do it myself because it needs doing quite frequently, due to the stupid grey, and it would cost a fortune at the hairdressers.  I’m not too bad at doing it now, I usually do it in two stages and it looks ok.

However, I HATE doing it (that was the main reason for growing it out last year) and it is always a messy business, even though I try very hard not to let it splash…..

So, I was thrilled to discover that the product I use now comes as a ‘non drip foam’.  It is advertised as very easy to use and sounded like the answer for me.

Non drip???  Non drip my arse!!!  It’s EVERYWHERE!!!  I have a permanently dyed black fingernail (despite wearing the gloves!), black ears and shoulders, one black boob and a big  black blob on one foot.  I have tried to wipe every spot I found in the bathroom but I am dreading going back up there in half an hour.  I’m bound to have missed a bit.

And I still have the pink to do…..

My bathroom will look like a Jackson Pollock painting by the time I’ve finished!!!

It is getting pretty exciting at class too – in just under six weeks we will be performing in our first ever ‘student showcase’ night.  I love the classes so much I now attend two a week – so I’m learning two routines!  Some of the ladies have also been on a residential weekend and they have another dance to perform and we have the strip club performing as well!  Now, when I say ‘strip club’ please don’t jump to conclusions.  I don’t go to these classes but they are all about feeling good about yourself, not getting your kit off (although that is obviously involved!).  I asked some of the ladies to explain to me just what it is that goes on in these classes:

First of all, it’s about the tease.  Apparently the clothes stay on for most of the time – the emphasis is on ‘hinting’ that they might come off.  However, much more than this, it is about becoming confident in your own skin.  One woman told me it is about facing your demons.  The women explore the thoughts and feelings that hold them back and it is a journey of self discovery as much as anything.

Like I said, I don’t attend these classes but I can see how amazing they must be for the women who do.

So, anyway, we have our cabaret coming up…..imagine dancing on stage in your frillies??  No, neither could I before I joined the classes!!!  I am not, and never have been a dancer.  But, I’ll be up there, strutting my stuff, with a whole bunch of other women who probably feel exactly the same.   And, we will be amazing because we have found our inner divas!

It just goes to prove how bloody wonderful Burlesque is……

(that’s not ME in the gloves, I hasten to add!!!!)

Our practise session went well, it helps to go over some of the more difficult moves with others and we all felt quite pleased with ourselves.

In between practising, we chatted.

We all agreed that we have to be ‘selective’ with whom we share our burlesque. All of us know people who are a little bit ‘surprised’ that we do this dancing. Why is this?

Burlesque is associated with something rather seedy, it seems. Nice girls don’t do burlesque! However, our classes are full of lovely ladies! They are certainly not seedy or hookers!

Burlesque in its true form is art.  Yes, the dances can be seductive and a bit naughty but there is nothing distasteful about Burlesque.  It is glamorous and it is sexy.  It isn’t degrading or shameful.

Our classes are fun, they are uplifting and they help women to feel good about themselves, in all sorts of ways. Many of the women who join the class have had terrible experiences and have low self-esteem or lack self-confidence. Burlesque empowers these women by helping them to make positive life changes through their new-found confidence. I, for one, have seen women blossom as the classes have progressed.

How is this seedy? Or something to hide?

Those people who find it distasteful either don’t know what burlesque is or they have very narrow views.

I, for one, am proud to be part of it and I know my class mates are too. We aren’t call girls, or strippers and we aren’t degrading women.

We are a group of women who love to dance.

In frillies.

Got a problem with that?

It was fun!!!  And although I was under no illusions that I looked like a professional dancer, I still thoroughly enjoyed it.

Over the year, I’ve continued the classes, only having to miss one course because of my surgery.  I hated not being there, I missed my weekly ‘fix’.

Just recently, I took a big step and attended a tassel twirling workshop.  Yes, I got my breasties out!  With tassels, obviously!  After a two-hour intensive workshop, I am proud to say I can twirl ‘em to the right, twirl ‘em to the left AND twirl ‘em in different directions at the same time!!! Amazing!!!  Even more amazing for me as my surgery was breast surgery, the final operation after years and years of surgery.  My boobs are, quite frankly, a MESS!!  I felt quite apprehensive about ‘getting them out’ even if it was just with a bunch of women…but I needn’t have worried.  The class was fun, relaxed and exhilarating all at the same time.

That weekend, I truly understood burlesque, I think.

I’ve now signed up to do a second class every week and in October I’m going to be performing in our first ever CABARET!!!!!!

My fellow ladies are all such lovely women and our tutor, Jem, is more than just our tutor….she’s the ‘leader’ of the wonderful burlesque community that she has created.

I still look ridiculous when I dance.  My various problems mean I just can’t do some of the moves like others can.  But, when I dance, in my head….I’m gorgeous.

And THAT’S what it’s all about.

1. Burlesque dancing

It’s going well. I am still rubbish at it, I will never master the art of shimmying whilst dipping and I am more Rita von Cheese than Dita von Teese but that doesn’t matter.  It’s fun, the girls are lovely and I get to wear frilly stuff.  There is a possibility I will even perform later this year with the group!!!!

2. Italian classes

Yup, finished the classes and have been to Italy since.  I wasn’t sure how much I would use the stuff we learned in class.  I didn’t feel the need to ask anyone where the museum was or what time the next train to Milan left.  However, I found that the basics I did learn gave me the confidence to try and speak the language and to ask the locals how to say the things I didn’t know.  I’m pretty much fluent now…… And Italy was beautiful, as always

3. Gym and my personal trainer

Oh forget that.  I never intend to set foot in a gym again as long as I live

4. Transport

I got a new car.  Well, not brand new but new to me.  Her name is Bunty and she is a Mini.  I’ve never had the inclination to name a car before but I do actually love this one.  And she goes!!!

I am sure I have more to tell you – but I won’t do it now.  I’ll save it for next time

And anyway, I am just in the middle of writing a list on things I need to do

I have also had the feeling that I have more serious stuff to write about and I am just in the process of developing that idea.

Watch this space!!!